Heath Bar 101

Welcome to Belly Up to the Bar. I chose the name because of my nickname, Heath Bar, and the fact that I have a very large belly. I have gotten plenty of laughs with jokes like:

"I just got out of the Army recently - I'm on maternity leave"
"I am better than Mardi Gras! Mardi Gras, in French, literally means 'Fat Tuesday'. Heck, I'm fat seven days a week!"

or

"My wife is from Hawaii. When I met her relatives for the first time, they were so happy they said that they were throwing a huge Luau and killing the fattest pig around to roast. I was excited about this until they started chasing ME around with their knives!"

To tell the truth, though, I'm tired of using fat jokes to get cheap laughs. I'm just plain tired of being fat, regardless. I work as the sales manager for a motorcycle and ATV dealership, and a lot of times I'll answer the phone and some guy will say, "I was talking to a salesman there the other day, and I can't remember the name of the salesperson I was talking to, but he was sort of a big guy..." They won't come right out and say it, but you know they mean "The fat dude."

And, if I ever hear somebody say "You've got dickeydo disease. Your belly hangs lower than your dickeydo!" or "You've got dunlop disease. Your belly has dunlopped over your belt!" again, I can't promise to be liable for my actions.

Obesity is a very serious condition, though, and its no fun to go to your physician and seeing that label on your file. And, look at the news, they are always talking about how fat we're getting, complete with a camera view of a lot of fat people walking down the street. They never show their faces, either, just a shot of their belly. I'd like to apply for that modeling gig. Maybe I get a few extra bucks. Regardless, I want to go ahead and dump the pounds. I don't want to be living my Golden years in my late thirties. I'd like to save those until my seventies, at least.

So, this blog is going to deal a lot with weight and my journey to get healthier. That is not the only thing, though. If there is something on my mind, regardless of what it is, I may write about it. I hope some of you enjoy this blog (I hate the word 'blog'. It sounds like something you'd blow out of your nose!) and will comment on what I write and encourage me. Thanks for reading, and 'Belly up to the Bar, Mate!"